Do you have lists, the stores mapped out, and a plan that takes you from one place to another, or do you run haphazardly back and forth, as you remember what you should have picked up earlier or in a store you visited before? Some of us know where we're headed in life, while others go in circles.

Perhaps all the pressure to buy and the large stores cause you to stumble around wide-eyed, ogling at the variety and sheer quantity of products, tempted to take "one of this" and "one of that" and pile your shopping cart high. You're soon to realize that there's only so much your shopping cart and credit card can hold. Life offers diverse experiences and opportunities, but nobody has it all. Take and give what you can handle and be successful, rather than trying to get or give everything for everyone.

With all he pressure to do the right thing for loved ones, maybe they would appreciate knowing why you want to buy them a particular item, or why you'd like to get a particular gift. It could bring you closer, if you take the risk. Telling a gift-giver you'd like tickets to an event that includes their attendance so they can share our time and passion, or that you'd love hand-warmers, coupled with a date for going snow-shoeing together, makes the gifts much more meaningful. Giving a gift and a note expressing your plan to share in the use of that gift (tickets, a visit to a restaurant, an item they can use or wear when you are together) makes the gift an experience not soon forgotten as it weaves your relationship more solidly.

Good advice is to you to buy what you really need first, and see if you need the other things - and acquire them last. Living life to the fullest is about prioritizing, so that the sensitive parts of living don't crack under pressure, and so you can experience special moments while they last.

Once you've selected everything you need, then added what you want, it's time to check out. At the till, you may decide you don't really need an item or realize that it wasn't the bargain you thought it was. No problem, you can discard the unwanted items before you pay. Don't be pressured to do what is not comfortable for you. Live with and enjoy your choices.

Aside from shopping, we think of holiday times as time we'll be with loved ones. What will this time be like? Will there be a strengthening of relationships? You can start off on the right foot by letting your loved ones truly know how you are, and truly hear about how they are when you listen to them speak. Are there financial challenges to learn about? Are your loved ones safe? Content? Fulfilled? A loving relationship means helping strengthen others Personal Safety Nets, and also strengthening yours! Knowing and caring about the true grit of the lives of others helps eliminate the stumbling blocks to better planning.

Before the holidays are behind you, ask yourself if you're rushing through the aisles collecting stuff, or are connecting with friends and relatives with gifts that are really meaningful? What is loaded in your life's basket? Are you expressing gratitude and reaffirming connections for the human "gifts" in your life? What better time than now to connect with those people who are important in your life and are the key members of your Personal Safety Net? There's a little time left before the New Year begins - a perfect time to add one or two things to your cart - maybe an extra prayer, a smile or a phone call.